The Mind: My Own Personal Idea Factory

I wait, wait, and wait.
I keep on waiting and waiting
Waiting for something to happen
I have an inbox full of spam
a phone no one calls
and a tomorrow full of uncertainty

Sometimes I ask myself
if there is something
for me out there
Something that says that
"Here, this is for you."
I am still waiting

I surround myself with routine
With schedules
while drowning my mind with
random things just to keep it
from going insane

Silence is never golden
it rots you from deep within
Anger, hate, frustration, disappointments,
empty promises, and dreams
that will never be fulfilled
All of these are stored in your heart,
mixing with one another
Slowly gathering steam

I am afraid that the day will come
when my life will just explode.
Destroying everything and everyone I hold dear.
Maybe I just need an ear
a smile
an embrace

Something that will reassure me that
I am still alive
and
my existence is worth noticing

Too many days have gone by when
I almost raised the white flag
Too many days when all I needed
to do was hold my
arms on high and say
"You win. I lose."

I met an interesting fellow this morning
I saw him in my bathroom mirror
He looked backed at me
and without saying a word
I knew exactly what he was trying to say

There are times in our lives when we ask ourselves THE question
"Who am i?"
I guess no one really knows except me

I’ll let myself know when I find out

I was once told that
"Words are nothing compared to actions."
Maybe that’s why encouragement
doesn’t work for me

"Those are just words."

That’s what I was told.
I believed it.

I once thought that I had a gift
I once believed that I could make someone smile
No more. No more.

People face fork roads
Choose this or choose that.
i think my road just goes one way
and even then I’m not even sure if I’m going
in the right direction